Wonderful Nothing

Today, for the first time since the Cretaceous Period, the Hunter family had a Nothing Day. A delightful, relaxing day of doing absolutely nothing, and it was as terrific as it sounds. Three-year-old Andy and six-year-old Molly were finished with swim lessons, summer camps, and playdates, so I didn’t have to drive them anywhere. We had a fridge full of food, so whining was minimal. The best part? I actually got to sit down during the day. I would’ve jumped for joy, but I was so comfortable I melted into the cushions.

Elly and John sit on the couch doing nothing.

Nothing Days are great, after all the hurrying we’ve been doing. I’m a lazy person by nature, and before I had kids, I was prone to lying around and wasting oxygen, like a walrus on a sunny dock. Why go for a hike when I could stay in bed? Why learn a new hobby when I could lick Cheeto dust off my fingers? I dare say I turned slothfulness into an art! Having kids made me an active person, whether I liked it or not. Plunking baby Molly into her stroller and taking her for a walk guaranteed a nap. Strapping baby Andy onto my chest in his baby carrier while I vacuumed made him sleep as the house was cleaned. Hey, I actually accomplished a lot when my offspring were younger! Don’t get me wrong, you’d have to tie me to a rocket to send me back there, but I deserved more credit than I gave myself at the time.

Our day of idleness continued into dinner, when I declared it to be a “free-for-all” night, and it was every man for himself. Molly had leftover pizza, Andy had a peanut butter sandwich, and I ate a bag of microwave popcorn. My husband Jeremy fared a little better, making himself scrambled eggs on toast. This dinner was a win, because all the major food groups were covered (sort of). The plates were left close to the dishwasher and our terrier, Teddy, licked the floor clean admirably. What a good boy.

Bedtime rolled around, some teeth were brushed, and my offspring were ushered into bed despite their protests. I finished off my Nothing Day with a big bowl of ice cream and my favorite movie. Sigh…. I could get used to this! No pruney fingers from washing dishes, no sweaty brow from vacuuming – what a life! Everything has consequences, though; I went to bed early — doing zilch all day exhausted me!