« A note from Lynn... | Main | Friday June 13, 2008 »

When "Grandma's dress" appeared, many of us noted that (1) it didn't look like a 1940's wedding dress, (2) it didn't look like the dress Grandpa remembers (from a cartoon published earlier) and (3) NO dress--stuffed into a cardboard box & left in a damp, vermin-infested crawlspace--could be made wearable by the dry cleaner. Little did we realize that it would be a major plot device!

Now, Liz & Elly are determined that the wedding MUST be held this Summer--so Grandpa can see Liz walk down the aisle in That Dress. When will they inform Anthony? How can a wedding be planned on such short notice? How will the Pattersons pay for the affair? John already warned Elly that their premature semi-retirement will be financially strained.

Guess April won't be getting that basement suite after all. How convenient that she'll be in town this summer--she can help with wedding preperation. And still probably make time for her Grandpa--unlike her mother & sister.

NB, Houston

Elly was off base with giving in to Liz's indecision about the wedding. Look if you are indeed going to get married do it soon so that your grandfather can see you walk down the aisle. Sometimes even a bride has to think about something more important than herself

Linda, Long Island

Hi Lynn,
I like what you're writing about Liz and Anthony. I think all the people who keep writing how selfish Liz is are nuts. I think she is typical. It's true the less time you have to put together a wedding, the less time you'll need. It will all come together fine. It's sweet that Liz wants to please Jim. That's what life is all about when you have kids. It's no longer about "me", but about the kids and family, so what's wrong with Liz thinking about making Jim happy? She's going to marry Anthony anyway, (hopefully), so why not move it up a bit? I think today's strip is also typical of men. It's absolutely true they don't get involved in any of the planning. But they do write out the checks! :-) The mother of the bride and bride do it all. Just have Liz go to one of those bridal faires and get everything ordered there. That's what we did for my daughter Julia when she got married here in San Diego and she was in the Air Force stationed in Germany until end of Oct.03 !
She married in Jan.04 and I did pretty much everything for her. We even ordered the bridesmaids dresses before she moved back to the U.S. Liz can get everything done in time. It will be fun to watch! I really cannot believe all the negative comments about Liz and Anthony! It just really surprises me how people are. I love your strip. I think I've been reading it the longest of any of those people who have written in - since 1985! I've enjoyed every word and every picture and how something always relates to my own real life. Keep up the good work and enjoy your vacation this summer! We love you!

Kristin, Paul, Julia, Katy and Laura

Kristin L, Coronado CA

How old is Edgar now? he would have to be at least 15! Why hasn't he died

Jessie, Trenton ON

Pam G-H

DITTO.....

I couldn't have said it better myself. I have grown up with these characters, for better or for worse, just like my family. We are not perfect, but if we surround ourselves with the love of family that the Patterson's have, then we have a very, very good life.

Shirl, Camden, NY, via Hamilton Ontario

Lynn has made us all have an investment in her characters. What a great writer she is to be able to do this!

Don't forget that Lynn will change the format of the strip in September. This may not exactly be retirement, but sort of, or working more towards that end. She is doing us all a favor by ending the story lines, which she didn't have to do! (Look at the Lucky Cow strip or The Humble Stumble strip--both ended this year. Lucky Cow just ended without any preparation to ease the reader into it, The Humble Stumble had a cute little section where the characters were on stage and bowed to the audience. Then the strip immediately went into syndication with earlier strips. No story line was resolved with either strip.

As an artist, she has the right to end/change the strip if she wants to. We may want more, but there isn't enough time left for Liz to meet someone new and connect with him and for us to know him well enough to care about him. Lynn doesn't want to spend a couple of years developing a new character. She doesn't want to work as much. We need to deal with it. How she wraps things up is OK.

Perhaps it is an age thing, but I've lived long enough to not believe in a "one and only" for everyone. Over a lifetime several people can be loved, each in a different way, and yet be loved intensely and truly.

It isn't logical for someone like Liz, who has had a couple of intense relationships previously, to go into marriage without some jitters.
Liz may not be too old, but she is not naive. She knows how relationships can turn.

PH, Utah

Okay, I've gotta come clean. I consider myself a regular guy for the most part. I watch the Yankees and even a NASCAR race now and then. I play guitar in a rock band part time. I just got a motorcycle. I own my own chainsaw. I hate to go shopping. But I have to tell you that FBorFW is pretty much the only comic I read, and every now and then I have tears in my eyes after reading it. I can't explain why, but there's something about it that just touches me (the recent strips with Jim in them just kill me).

If my buddies knew this I would be the subject of great ridicule, and I'll be damned if I ever admit to them that I read FBorFW every day. But I'll keep reading, and I just wanted to say thanks for your great work. Keep 'em coming!

GE, NY

I remember the moment when Liz hugged Anthony during the trial and didn't seem like she would ever let go.
I am frustrated at not seeing more between them, not seeing Anthony show up and saying I got a babysitter, let's go do something fun. Not seeing him take Liz home to his parents and saying I'm finally marrying the woman I love. Be happy for me.
But I don't know if this is possible with having the flashback strips and time is growing so short when everything current comes to an end forever.
I would love to see the scenes we're not seeing between them.

Mary Louise, Iowa

I LOVE Anthony and Liz! I always have. It's been so frustrating watching Liz waste her heart on worthless men, when she's got a perfectly good one right in front of her! I know they'll be happy once they've tied the knot, so as long as their sensible, I don't see any reason why the wedding shouldn't go beautifully.

Andrea P-B, Indiana

I think you were testing your readers in the Sunday June 8 strip. In the frame where the kids are with grandpa Jim, one of the youngsters asks, "ARE YOU COMFTORFUL?" Is that a new word or a new English idiom or supposed to be kids talk? FBorFW is on the front page of our Sunday comics section so can't miss it! Good stuff.

Violet S, Greensburg PA

A wedding occupies only one day of a marriage!

Wesley M, Minneapolis MN

In Tuesday's strip (June 10- not June 8...)I find the language Elly uses is odd. Why would she say "My dad saw you in my mother's gown..." when it makes more sense (to me at least) to say "Grandpa saw you in grandma's gown..." Just nitpicking I guess!

Luanne R, Coupeville, WA (Whidbey Island)

Woo hoo!!! A summer wedding for Liz and Anthony!!! If they get married on July 31, then they'll have the same anniversary as my husband and I. My 2 year old daughter wants to know...can she be the flower girl?

Lea, Flagstaff AZ

There's nothing wrong with long engagements, or with thinking things through. My husband of 20 years and I dated for 6 and were engaged for 2 before we finally decided to go through with it. It wasn't about not loving each other; it was about making sure. Like Anthony, I didn't want to go through another divorce.

There's a lot to think about before tying the knot. I don't find Liz and Anthony indifferent to each other, but careful, scared, and cautious.

However, I do agree that they shouldn't rush the wedding just to get it in before Grandpa dies. Perhaps an engagement party or even a handfasting would be a way to celebrate their togetherness without rushing.

Lynn C, Boulder CO and London ON

So everyone is upset that Elizabeth hasn't visited her grandfather. What about Michael? And John? And hia own daughter Elly for that matter?

Out of sight, out of mind? Or is April the only truly caring person in the family. I guess now that he isn't able to communicate or be his old self anymore, everyone forgets about the poor man.

Shame on the Pattersons! Too selfish if you ask me - too much in their own world to care. Sad.

Kellie, Florida

I can't wait to hear Liz and Anthony's wedding vows: "We're really, really, good friends and after the wedding we're just gonna take this slow and see where it goes."

Anna M, Boston MA

Ooo!! Ooo!! I get it now!! Liz's wedding will be within a day or two, and Grandpa Jim will finally utter a full sentence -- "Do you really love him?" He will make Liz do some soul searching (as no one else has), and she'll call it off, for she really only considers Anthony a friend and is rushing into this marriage for fear of becoming an old maid. Come on, Liz! It's 2008, not 1908! There's no reason she even HAS to get married -- Successful women can be single too!!

Lynn B, New York State

Elizabeth is so wishy washy these days. I would love to see Therese come back into the picture.Can you imagine that?Therese did turn Anthonys head before and I will be willing to bet if she has changed to wanting a family and Anthony, there would be an interesting story agian.

Rusty, Seattle

Liz Patterson--going slow at the speed of light. I shudder to think what a mess her marriage is going to be.

Cheryl, Rochester

What's with the Liz bashing? So she didn't stop in to see her grandfather - he was in bed if I recall. He'd had an exhausting day as if he needed more excitement. And who's to say that she never visits? This is a comic strip not a soap opera; Lynn only has so much space and some things need to be left to one's imagination. As for Liz and Anthony - marriage is a huge commitment; they've waited this long to be together let her take her time to plan the perfect wedding and do it in her own time not because Jim is failing or her mother wants her to.

Robin, PA

I would be devastated if Liz and Anthony didn't proceed into marriage. They are meant for each other and, besides, this union has been years in the making. With all the losers Liz has had to put up with, Liz has finally found what she needs in Anthony. I cannot wait for this marriage to begin and see how their lives progress.

Shari DeF, Muskego, WI

Hmmm, why would Elizabeth be so scared about marriage now that she's engaged? Could it be that she's hitching herself to a TOTAL LOSER?????!!!! When I got engaged, there was no "waiting until the time was right". It WAS right, which is why I got engaged. If she has those feelings now, Anthony is obviously not right for her and she is just falling into old habits with him and nothing more. The engagement was even a joke. It was like he was asking her to pass the salt, not make the most important decision of her life. She should just call it off and give back the ring...oh, wait, that's right, there was no ring! Any loser that proposes without a ring (or without any feeling) doesn't deserve to get married. And anyone stupid enough to accept that kind of second-rate proposal deserves what she gets.

Carrie, Idaho

Of course Liz is hesitant, following a string of losers (last included), she's about to be pulled into 'instant family' with a confused stepdaughter and a milquetoasty passive-aggressive husband. And Anthony is a CPA to boot, booooor-ring. What a life to look forward to. Grampa has had a stroke, very frustrating (and who's to say L hasn't visited him, we don't see everything); he may pass soon, and the parents are nosy, still giving more than advice to their more than adult daughter. Good luck, sis. More unsolicited advice: transfer up to another school in the Canadian wilderness, hook up with some mountain man, and have some fun. April can keep you updated with the haps via email.

Kimrie, Chokoloskee FL (Florida)

I love the fact that these characters aged with me. I am personally wanting to see more happening with Liz and Anthony, maybe all the pitfalls and stress of a major wedding, with a happy subplot (maybe around a happy Iris who has never been part of a wedding like this(?) ). I find Deanna and Michaels life to be rather hum-drum so I am looking for exitement with Liz.

And since this is turning out to be my wish list, I prefer for Elly and John to stop acting so old.

I have been reading this for the last 20 years, and I still get upaset if I miss a day. Thanks god for the internet where I can look up any day I want!

Grace, NYC

I'm kinda disappointed in Elizabeth. You would think, after all she and Anthony have been through, their getting back together and getting engaged would make her extremely happy. Instead, I haven't really seen that from her in a long time. I realize this version of the strip is ending soon, but it feels like one of those final episodes of a sitcom that got axed unexpectedly and they're just trying to wrap up as many loose ends as they can, without satisfying the fans. Nothing against Lynn, but can Elizabeth have a real wedding storyline and be HAPPY about what's going on. If she's not, give Anthony the boot and move on. Surprise us all, maybe.

Marisa M, Uniontown, PA

Every day I save the comics for last when reading the paper and every day For Better or For Worse is the first one I read. A wonderful comic that has taken us through the many different changes in each characters lives. I just wanted to thank Lynn for keeping such a terrific family moving and experiencing life (as all of us real folks) and making so many of us find reasons to smile, laugh, cry and appreciate all that we have.

Thank you, Lynn, for all that you do for better or for worse!

Carla P, Tustin CA

In reference to Liz I have to quote my favourite movie, When Harry Met Sally: "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start now."

Liz and Anthony seem completely disconnected and Liz seems so unsure. No point of Grandpa Jim sticking around to see a marriage which will end up in the toilet. Better he leave seeing Liz as a happy and confident woman, whatever life should bring her.

Think twice Liz - If the marriage isn't as exciting as the wedding, think twice!

Kate, TO

as a fan from the first day of the strip,I say let them get married. Hopefully Grampa Jim will be around for it. They are your characters,do what you want them to go. I hope you will put out one more large collection of the Pattersons life. They are my family too. Good luck.

Judith L, Concord Mass

I hope to see Elizabeth and Anthony get married and have a great married life. Life is what you want it to be. If you don't share your life with someone that you truly love then what is it? It's too short to worry about things that might not ever be. He really loves her and she does love him, so what's the problem? All those people who are so negative much not have a great life themselves. That child didn't ask to be born to a mother who is stupid, so why should she suffer? Elizabeth will be a great mother. She loves children, or she wouldn't be a teacher. Go for it Elizabeth, let your grandfather know you love him as much as he has loved you.

Linda R, NC

Really hope Liz takes Elly's good advice to take her time and Jim doesn't need to see her walk down the aisle. Liz's posture and responses really show how she's torn and how she is more into a wedding than a long term relationship. If she is having that much angst, she needs to get out of the relationship and the sooner the better. However, Elly is entirely correct in telling her she needs to make up her own mind.

On another note, I really would like the strip to show Therese telling her side of the story, not just Anthony's version and Liz's interpretation of it. I believe it would do Liz good to know the story from both sides. Anthony was emotionally unfaithful to Therese and Liz did her part by showing off around them at dances, parties and even the wedding; making Anthony notice her, want her, and making lame excuses to Therese for her.

Liz, as a character in this strip, needs to get a grip, redeem herself for her part in Therese and Anthony's breakup, live her own life, and find herself before she can commit to anyone.

Marsha, Reno NV

Are.You.Serious?! LIZ, it's like you're driving off a cliff!! Do you even FEEL a spark with Anthony (even the name makes me shudder), and do you even ENVISION yourself thirty years later with this man? We all know you Liz! Don't be pressured, stand up for yourself! Please, don't marry Anthony! At least then, you'd have time to visit Grandpa Jim...? After all, Jim is tired, and weak. Please...don't make him go to the wedding, just to sit there stiffly. Or maybe have a duet with your loving, soon to be successful sister April while Iris, and the whole family stands by...
That, my dear...would be a perfect ending...

Mimi S, WV

A summer wedding...I can see it now:
Liz at the altar, she looks over at Anthony, then says to her mother: "On the other hand, a husband with a personality would be nice"
Don't do it Liz, run now!

Juliette S, Port Townsend WA

I have to give a hearty "Amen!" to Pam G-H of Ottawa and her post of 6/10. It is so refreshing to hear a well-thought out response as opposed to a seat-of-the-pants reaction.

I think it is perfectly reasonable that Liz and Anthony don't feel a great need to rush. My own engagement was 15 months long - partly because we needed to put together the money for the wedding, and partly to give ourselves more time to make certain that what we wanted was indeed what was best for us. We had seen too many couples find out the hard way that these are two very different things.

My husband and I resemble Liz and Anthony a good deal in that our way of relating to each other tends toward the low key and understated. But I assure you that we bring each other a great deal of joy, and next month, we will celebrate our twentieth anniversary.

If Liz and Anthony are truly on the same page in terms of what they want from life and from their marriage, then I expect they'll be as happy on the eve of their twentieth anniversary as my husband and I are on the eve of ours. And ultimately, isn't that what matters?

Well done, Lynn, for presenting your characters and their stories in a way that pulls your readers in and allows them to invest something of themselves in the Patterson saga.

Kitty K, Boston

"In the strips we only see a very very small amount of what goes on chez Patterson. Just because we don't see Liz or Elly or John with Jim and Iris doesn't mean they don't ever visit with him!"

Er...yes it does. This is a work of fiction, and what is drawn and shown to us is all we have to go on. Go ahead with fond imaginings that these characters really aren't as self-absorbed as they seem--those of us sensible enough to go on _evidence_ rather than wishful thinking have reached a different conclusion, not a charitable one.

George K, Seattle

If Liz is lucky Anthony will be attacked and killed by a rabid moose and she will be off the hook.

If we're all lucky she'll get run over by the ambulance and we'll all be off the hook from this aimless storyline.

I have always liked FBOFW, and I understand the reason behind the mixed timelines, but the whole Anthony/Liz story arc seems to just be getting dragged out to fill space. It hasn't gone anywhere since they agreed to get married.
(I'm not calling it a proposal because it wasn't...They'd showed less enthusiasm than someone buying a new vacuum cleaner!)

Will, St. Louie

Way to go Pam G-H from Ottawa!! Those are exactly my same thoughts!

We only see a fleeting glimpse into their lives so we get to actually use our imagination (rare treat nowadays) as to how the rest of their day unfolded. In a way we all get to be our own storyteller for ourselves and our family when we sit and discuss FBOFW.

Thanks Lynn and crew for bringing the Patterson story to us and allowing us to share in the joys and sorrows. And to everyone else... keep dreaming and imagining!!

Cree, Southwest US

I'm surprised by how many people make comments about hurrying after you get engaged to get married. Why the rush? My husband and I were engaged for 5 years before getting married. We knew we wanted to get married, but we also wanted to finish college, pay off some school loans, and get settled into our careers before being married and having a whole new set of expenses that comes with marriage (house, cars, etc). We didn't want to start our marriage off being in debt.

It's perfectly acceptable for Liz to want to take it slow. Maybe more people should think about their personal and financial situations before bringing someone else into the mix.

Rene, Westminster CO

I would not classify "For Better or Worse" as a comic strip but rather a saga concerning families, their attachments, events, emotions, etc. A slice of real life. At times funny, at times sad, at times moving. I've cried over events surrounding Grandpa and am touched by the caring way his family treats him. Look forward to every strip.

Beverly D, Danbury CT

I'm really disturbed by Elly's stance in the Tuesday strip. It's okay if Jim dies before Elizabeth gets married because he isn't required to walk he down the aisle? What? This is the woman's FATHER she's talking about!

My sister got married last spring, and our grandfather died the previous autumn. Both my sister and our mother were absolutely devastated that he could not be there to see his youngest granddaughter walk down the aisle. Why is Elly so keen for her dad to drop over?

As for Liz, if she's this uncomfortable setting a date and determined to take it "one day at a time," then I agree with so many others -- she is not ready for this marriage.

Jenny, Tulsa OK

This is getting ridiculous. Either Liz is sure she wants to marry Anthony, in which case this whole 'I don't want to rush into it' makes no sense at all; or she isn't sure she wants to marry him, in which case she should grow a spine, say so, and give him back the ring. Her utter passivity is maddening. Does she have any capacity for making any decisions for herself?

Bill N, Maryland

Good grief, when did Liz lose her spine?

Lynn, I hope you're setting us up for a real stunner of a surprise, because Liz has really become a wimp.

Susan S, New York

I was one of the people who was excited when Anthony and Liz got back together last summer--I thought it was really cool, and was glad that both of them were finally able to be happy after so much drama. But even I am getting bored and disgusted by the way their relationship has been portrayed over the past months. They just don't seem happy together--they always look so deadly serious when spending time together; they rarely laugh, or have fun, or even look like a couple!

I also have to agree with the people yesterday who said that Liz clearly does not want to get married. Look at the expression on her face in today's strip! That does not look like someone who is comfortable making a lifetime commitment. These two need to take a break from each other, and really have a serious conversation about their future! Maybe instead of complaining to Elly, Liz should be talking to ANTHONY about her hesitance to get married! That would have a good storyline, and would be realistic.

Cam F, Originally from Huntsville, ON

Why is it so important for Liz to get married? She seems so undecided and wants to do what "the flow" wants her to do. Anthony may indeed love Liz but deep down he is also thinking how great it would be to have a mother figure for Francoise. In my young, single days it was "expected" that a girl would grow up, get married and have children, and that's all well and good, but this is the 21st Century and things are different. Please don't let Liz rush into something she will regret.

Geri, NYC

YES!! The huge impact of how long life can actually be is causing Liz to have second thoughts about what she is getting herself into with this marriage to Anthony. I want to whisper into her ear, "The door isn't shut quite yet, Liz...RUN!
Keepin' my fingers crossed...

Barb C, Waterville WA

Why isn't Liz acting like the happy bride-to-be? Instead she's acting like she's being dragged into something unpleasant.
Kudos to Elly though for using reverse psychology - that's what Liz needs to change her negative attitude and get her show on the road!

Joy, Somerset VA