« Tuesday June 10, 2008 | Main | A note from Lynn... »

I, for one can understand why Lynn chooses to not show Liz visiting Grandpa Jim. When my mother was in a nursing home toward the end of her life, my brother found it extremely difficult to go and see her. He didn't deal well with the idea that his once vibrant, energetic mother had become a frail, ill woman. It was easier on both of them that he not visit often, but instead sent notes or called. I think Lynn is showing us a very human side of what some families go through.

Brava Lynn, for taking us through all the dynamics.

Annie, NJ

Hmmmm. Liz and her mom deciding on a quick wedding. Anyone ask Anthony what he thought of it, or doesn't it matter?

Laura R, New York

So it's come out -- Elly wants this wedding more than Liz. Liz just said that she doesn't want to rush into anything, but Mom is wants to do this before Grandpa buys the farm.

If she wants this so much, why doesn't Elly marry Anthony?

Sam, Memphis

WOOO HOO! I wish i could help I love weddings. Get er done!

Cindy, Michigan

I'd like to say something with regards to the multiple comments about how we only see a fraction of the Pattersons' lives, ie, we're "not shown everything." I should preface this by saying that I'm an amateur cartoonist with a webcomic; I've done a bit of thinking about the topic in this regard.

I understand and accept that we're not shown everything that goes on in the characters' lives. It's quite true that there's just too much going on to adequately cover everything. I do, however, feel that what we are shown is important; what we see is upon what our attitudes towards the characters are based. Ideally, what we see is important for character development, demonstrating thoughts, interests and actions, or important character developing stories. At the very least, we need to see a pattern; we don't need to see every single waking moment, but we do need to establish interests and routines beyond the basic "I eat/I wash/I sleep" actions.

This, ultimately, is the problem with saying things like "How do you know such-and-such didn't happen? We didn't see it, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen!" If we don't see even one instance of such-and-such happening, and the characters don't even pay lip service to the idea (eg saying "Oh, I went to do such-and-such today"), then we don't have any reason to believe that they even do the action in question. If you think otherwise, then I invite you to explain to me why I can't claim, for example, Elly is a punk rocker; we've never seen her be one and she's never mentioned it, but by the previous logic, this doesn't mean that she isn't one off camera.

This is why many of us have problems with the actions of the characters on camera; their actions and lack thereof belie everything we're supposed to believe of them. The most recent example is that Liz didn't go visit her grandfather when she was picking up April. I know people were asking "How do you know she doesn't go visit him?!" Well, she's never mentioned it, and we've seen it but once: a special case when she was wearing what was claimed to be her grandmother's wedding dress. This doesn't reinforce the notion that she visits her grandfather on even a semi-regular basis.

Important canon events and information belong in the strip, where we can see them and discuss them. They do not belong in side letters, comments and stories that only a select few will ever see.

Liz W, Ottawa

Lynn,

If Liz marries Anthony, I WILL STOP READING THIS STRIP!!!

Okay, maybe I won't but I WILL BE AN UNHAPPY READER!!!

And I would have lost all respect for what used to be my favorite character.

Laura M, Miami Florida

I don't get it. I tell my husband every morning and every night before we go to sleep that we love each other. Not because we are insecure about our relationship, but just because that is how we truly in our hearts feel about each other. Who knows if it's our last day on the earth and we are left with the regret of not having said I love you to your partner.

Not once have I seen either Anthony or Liz say I love you to each other. Also her getting married this summer. She is rushing into this just to do this before her grandpa passes away. She is always trying to make everyone else happy and not herself happy. Relationships just don't work that way and they are headed into alot of rough patches in the future.

I think you are sending alot of wrong messages to young loves out there Lynn and it's very sad.

Ing, Altamonte Springs Florida

This wedding will have Lynn's great touch of heartfelt family love and lots of humor.

Enjoy the ride.

Connie W-S, Neptune NJ

OK...I am not a huge fan of the Anthony/Liz pairing...but it is what it is.
As for the comments about Liz being self centered because she didn't stop in to see Grandpa..well...keep in mind we only see a small glimpse into the Patterson lives.
Maybe Liz just got off work and has other committments. Maybe she had been there earlier and either didn't notice or didn't want to notice Grandpa's state of health.
The older strips where we see John being rude to Elly.
Well...it's not acceptable to act that way..especially in a professional setting...but something to consider is that
1. That was 30 years ago and people weren't as politically correct.
2. John and Elly were married and so they were comfortable with each other. We often say things to people that we are comfortable with that we wouldn't dream of saying to other people.
Does it make it right to call someone names and make them feel bad....absolutely not...but I know from my own life that I have said things to my husband and he has said things to me that we would never say to other people.
After the fact we do apologize for being so insensitive.
Mike is a good dad. He takes time to be with his family. That's a lot more than I can say for a lot of parents.
Ok..so he wasn't listening to Merideth (re: the great cookie incident)...and people commented that they would "Never" do that to one of their kids...well...Hurrah for being so perfect.
My kids are my life...but I know that there have been times when I have been wrapped up doing the budget or helping a friend through a crisis on the phone that I have only half listened to the kids and ended up regretting it later.
Are the Pattersons perfect...no..they are not...but show me one person who is.

Ann, Ontario

You would know Choo-Choo Johnny would come to the stupid conclusion that he didn't have to do anything to help with his daughter's wedding except walk her down the aisle. John ain't that bright to start with and he's still stuck in the fifties, the dunce. Elly should have thrown something with a bit more weight to it to remind him not to be so dense. Everyone else is going to contribute so he has to too. It's only fair because of how big a jerk he is.

Paul J, St. John NB

Please don't tell me that Grandpa is going to pass!!! I read that everybody is to be locked into time but everything is moving!! I can't stand the thought that he will go. He's like family...

Karen, Ottawa ON

EEEEK...Call the Police!!

We have just witnessed Elly commit "Aggravated Assault" against John! She "threw an Object" at his head --and the Law is not specific about what size or weught the "Object" must be before assault charges MUST be laid. "A rubber glove today, a cast-iron skillet tomorrow ...." ??

(Of COURSE I'm being Facetious ! After all, as we kept telling each other in the Seventies, "LOVE ... Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry." Yeah, Right... )

On a more serious note I find the One-Day-At-A-Time philosphy disturbing. It may be appropriate for recovering Addicts, Families in Crisis, or convicted Felons just handed their Sentences. Is Liz now aware that there is more than one meaning to the word "Taken" ??

Anna M, Winnipeg

and john can still bring the funny!!!!!

Bridget Q, New Glasgow NS

Lynn, first I want to tell you how much I love your storylines. I don't get a newspaper, so my morning starts every day with a cup of coffee and your strip online. I feel personally connected to your characters and love to see what is happening in their day-to-day lives. Obviously, from the passion I see in the comments your receive, I'm not the only one who finds your characters so believable and so lovable. Which leads me to my next point: I cannot believe how much grief people give you over your strip! Your storylines keep us thinking, your plots keep us guessing and the expressions you draw are priceless. I think you're doing great. Keep it up, Lynn. And thanks for all the years of sharing.

HW, Colorado

the point of getting married is NOT to have your grandfather see you walk down the aisle... as nice as that may be! ahhhh!! it just seems like elizabeth is doing this for all the wrong reasons... and i know you must have a reason for that, lynn... i'm just getting anxious.

also, i'd throw my glove at john, too... go elly!

Ash, NH

Rushing wedding plans based on wanting an ill relative to attend is never a good idea. There is no passion in this relationship. I agree with someone else who expressed irritation with the "let's take things slow" line. Slow? How are you taking things slow when one day you say that, then you are engaged, then you say there is no rush, but now you are rushing- and it seems that none of the rush is because the 2 involved cannot wait to share their lives- it is out of jealousy and fear. I know many have said that a relationship does not need passion to work- but I think there needs to be SOME passion. Yes, friendship is very important. But its also nice to wake up with the same person next to you and just think "gosh, I REALLY love him/her!!" I can't imagine my marrige being based on looking at my husband and thinking "gee, there sure are many logical reasons why we are together"

And also, why is it we fixate SO much on the big wedding? What's wrong with the courthouse? A wedding is just a day- a marrige is longer. People fixate too much on that one day, and don't take the time to look at the bigger picture

Rachel, Netherlands

Wesley M . . . April may have her 1st stage Driving License only; Ontario, and we all know that the Pattersons do live in Ontario, has a system of Graduated Licensing, so you cannot drive without an adult accompanying you, withany alcohol intake and a whole lot more rules and regulations till you have been so many mon ths since the first test and have taken and passed the 2nd one.
Complicated, but it is an effort to save young drivers from making mistakes.

Liz P, Ontario

Dear Lynn,
I've never written before to the Coffee Talk, but
as a faithful reader for many years. I beg you to not kill off Grandpa Jim. I understand everyone passes away and he has been sick in the past year. But it would be nice to have one remaining grandparent alive. He reminds me too much of my own father who is aging. This dramatic storyline is becoming depressing. He finally found love and happiness with Iris, after being a widow for so long. It would be nice to have him perk up some and enjoy his time with her and stop the aging process. Now, for all the people who will write saying stroke victims don't always make a miraculous recovery, I understand that; but this is a comic strip people. I don't want to get up in the morning and start it with tears in my eyes and bummed out.

I recall a comment when Lynn planned on slowing down her comic strips there was something about not having any more major changes in the story line?? I can handle the romances, retirement and graduation. But leave out the deaths.

Due to my recent move and no internet access for a week (yes, it was torture). I came back to see this story twist and read the comment from 13 y.o. Emma from Illinois who wrote about Grandpa Jim and the loss of her own grandparents. It killed me to read it, because I could share her heartache.

Not to mention the many people in Liz's shoe's whom fear not having a parent or grand parent around still when it comes time to get married. It is time to lighten this comic strip up, A.S.A.P!

This family takes life too seriously. Relax and have fun. Where's John's retirement party? Surely a Dentist for so many years deserves a retirement party.

P.S. I agree with all of you who say Liz is not ready for marriage and her relationship with Anthony seems dull and boring. I would rather see Liz play the field awhile longer.
Now that would be some great drama instead of killing off Gramps.

Please just reconsider the storyline with Grandpa Jim. I don't want any life lessons coming from a comic strip. The world has enough depressing issues going on without adding more in from a comic strip that many enjoy reading daily.

Well it's 4am, enough rambling for now. Must have been Lynn's coffee :) Have a great day everyone!

Sandie, GA

Wow we don't even have one weeks worth of strips with Liz as the headliner and everyone is all over her case about marrying Anthony and not going to see her grandpa.

Let's all remember that these strips are a snapshot into the lives of an imaginary family. While we love them, root for them, boo them, etc. we still need to remember that we don't know the whole BIG picture. Maybe Liz did go see her grandpa when she picked up April. But we don't know because the focus had been on April visiting her grandpa, not Liz.

Let's keep things in perspective people. We don't have much time before the storyline is over. Let's enjoy the ride while it lasts.

Lynn and crew - keep up the awesome job you all are doing. This blog certainly keeps everyone interested and talking. But no matter what happens, FBorFW will always remain my favorite strip, new or old.

Janice, California

Thank you Lynn for so many years of enjoyment, love, joy, laughter, and tears.

Cami, Oregon

Hi All --

Somewhere in here I saw someone else who remembered that Liz bailed on Paul after he transferred to be with her.

BUT -- AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO REMEMBERS THAT IT WAS WHEN APRIL E-MAILED THAT ANTHONY WAS GETTING A SEPARATION THAT SHE DECIDED TO MOVE HOME? IMMEDIATELY!!!!!

It might have taken her a long time to admit it, but that is the reason she came running back -- ANTHONY WAS FREE!!!!

HURRY UP AND GET MARRIED ALREADY!!!

I'm the nut who told everyone to read Brenda Starr for adventure -- and sure enough, now she's running off to find Basil again -- with his son by her best friend!!! Is that what you want for Liz?

I have been involved with someone who is an adventurer for 17+ years -- it's OK, I've met many men over the years, and I can honestly say there was never anyone else I would have preferred -- but now I am in menopause and have no children -- never was a conscious decision not to, but ... I think we all know Liz wants children.

ON WITH THE WEDDING!!!!! SHE'S ONE OF THE LUCKY ONES WHO MET HER SOUL MATE EARLY IN LIFE!!! SHE'S SEWN HER WILD OATS!!! TIME TO SETTLE DOWN!!!!!

Get a grip everyone, it's a comic strip about nuclear families...go elsewhere for adventure!!!!

Besides, to some of us, this happy ending IS an adventure!!!!

ON WITH THE WEDDING!!! IN LIZ'S GRANDMOTHER'S WEDDING DRESS!!! IN TIME FOR HER GRANDFATHER TO BE THERE!!!

Or, better yet, MAYBE SHE'S PREGNANT ALREADY!!! THEN SHE HAS AN EXCUSE TO RUSH ON WITH THE WEDDING!!!!!

Come on everyone, ENJOY THE RIDE!!!

Jane, Manhattan