« Monday June 9, 2008 | Main | Wednesday June 11, 2008 »

Don't do it, Elizabeth! Find someone exciting. Preferably someone without a whiny child.

Anne, Orlando FL

It's not too late for Liz to remember there is a difference between Marriage and a Wedding! When contemplating the marriage, she is anxious, stressed, and looks practically beside herself. Yet the idea of the summer wedding, with her bridesmaids in sundresses carrying daisies and grandpa watching has her all dreamy and goo goo. She can vividly imagine the DAY, but the lifetime afterwards is something she is terrified to rush into.

I think that many women's fixation on the wedding over the marriage is a huge problem in today's society. Please do not let Liz fall into the same trap.

Anna S, Rhode Island

Add me to the chorus. People take it slow BEFORE the engagement. Not after. If someone doesn't want to rush into marriage they generally don't get engaged. Unless someone is just trying to get people off their back or appease a boy/girlfriend. Which is always a possibility, I guess.

Rose W, Tennessee

I know exactally how Liz feels! I am in the same boat! However, despite what people may say, we are not waiting because we are unsure about the marriage. We are waiting because we feel there is no need to rush. Why get all stressed out and go bankrupt planning a wedding, when we can wait a few years, take our time to plan, save money so we can afford the wedding, buy a house, and actually enjoy the process. As much as I would like to see the wedding hapen sooner rather than later, it is much more realistic for Liz and Anthony to wait. Marriage isn't the only option, and waiting won't make their love any less.

Genoa, The Berkshires MA

I feel so sorry for Grandpa Jim. I hope he makes it long enough to see Liz get married, and I hope that Liz picks a date soon. I agree with her, a summer wedding woul be nice. She and Anthony make such a great couple. Keep up your great work!

Miranda, Oklahoma

Hi! Just wanted to join the "Liz's enggement" discussion. Hasn't everyone seen someone enter a marriage that turned sour-and sometimes known it was a bad idea even at the wedding? I didn't know at the time how bad it would be with Anthony and Therese, but i have seen enough marriages go south to know it certainly happens.
I don't think Liz had anything to do with that. Anthony wantedto keep in contact with herjust as much as she did with Anthony. Therese came off as an overpossesive wife-this started happening even before the wedding.
I like Anthony, but L
iz does seem uncertain, for whatever reason. Looking forward to the conclusion!

Mary Pat M

O.k. NOW...i'm on the 'what the heck is wrong with Liz' bandwagon!!
I have to agree with the many readers who say that Liz is just not knowing what she wants...Marriage is either a 'yes!' or a 'No'....NOT, " Gee...I'm not too sure about this..."
Your heart just knows when it's true love...If there is ANY hesitation, it's time to reassess ones motives for wanting to marry..
O.k., So..You got hurt in the past, Liz. They weren't right for you but this dragging your feet thing means that you are still carrying around the fear of failure, maybe?
When the ONE TRUE LOVE comes into your life, your heart just leaps..No 'ifs' 'ands' or 'buts' about it! You just KNOW they are THE ONE for you. And when that POW of true love envelopes you, whatever transpired in the past has no hold on the now!
Trust in your heart...And it looks like it's not with Anthony..
P.S. Get off your keister, girl, and go visit your Grandpa!.

There...nuff said!

Natalie A, Arnprior

I really love your comic strip, but I think I will breathe a sigh of relief if Liz and Anthony ever call it off and go their seperate ways for good. They are so reticent about getting married that it is hard to be happy for them - it all seems so depressing to think that they are getting married with this little enthusiasm! Anthony was that way with his first wife, too - getting married when he obviously had no passion for her. Liz should get out NOW!!!

My own husband and I had a story similar to Liz and Anthony - We were young sweethearts who seperated for a few years and then got back together. But when we finally decided to get engaged, we set a date immediately, and were married within five weeks of getting engaged - NO HESITATION AND NO LOOKING BACK! That was more than thirty years ago and we are still going strong.

I used to root for Liz and Anthony to get together, until this cold fish romance happened! I never expected them to be so "sensible"! No one should get married when they still have such nebulous feelings for each other. If they say one more time, "We don't want to rush into anything" or "We want to take things one day at a time", I think I will make a personal appearance in the strip to talk some sense into Liz! She has too much potential to spend her life with someone she does not love and who can only love her when she is just out of reach! I just keep hoping that someone really wonderful will suddenly appear and sweep her away from this dreadful mistake!

LOL! I guess your are pretty talented, though, to create characters that are so believable! Why else would so many people care about the life of a fictional person?

Linda H, Colorado

Get over yourselves, people! This is a comic strip! No disrespect, Lynn - I love this strip. But, please...to "dread" this wedding?? To call Liz a "selfish twit?" Aren't you being a bit too dramatic?

Fern, Santa Ana CA

Though I'm no mind-reader, I think many fans from the "He's perfect for her" camp are perhaps starting to have twinges of doubt as to whether Liz and Anthony will actually see this thing through.

I myself have doubts, and I'm wondering if Lynn has yet another twist up her sleeve for the whole drama. We've seen Liz talking to herself about why her relationship with Anthony must be "different" from others she's had (should she really have to convince herself?); we've seen little affection between the two, and actually, little shared space at all. Now she's bemoaning the choice she must face as to when she should have the wedding. Real life- if she was meant to spend the rest of it with Anthony- would have her accepting the unpredictable turn in events without hesitation.

I could be dead wrong- after all, I know several couples who entertained long courtships before marriage. But once these couples did get engaged, the ball got rolling right away. But let's not forget- no other story (except Lawrence's) has garnered as much reader attention as this one. Perhaps Lynn can't be blamed for extending the storyline beyond where many thought it would end?

AC, Houston

What's with all the criticism? I don't understand why all you folks who hate the Pattersons and call them self-centred care enough to read the strip and post all your negative comments on Coffee Talk - enough already.

In the strips we only see a very very small amount of what goes on chez Patterson. Just because we don't see Liz or Elly or John with Jim and Iris doesn't mean they don't ever visit with him! And just because Liz didn't run in the evening she picked April up doesn't mean she is cold and doesn't care about her Grandfather. And as for Iris being EXCLUDED from the picnic - you think maybe she might embrace a few hours to herself - to run errands - or just to be? And as for the wedding - lots of people who take marriage seriously, as both Liz and Anthony appear to do, like the old-fashioned concept of taking things a bit slowly with an engagement of a good length. Finally, for those people who criticize any feeling that Liz might have to do anything about her wedding that has to do with family rather than just she and Anthony - can you honestly say that there was nothing at all about your wedding - or event the last family funeral that had some element that was there to please someone else?

Pam G-H, Ottawa

I too, am perplexed as to why Liz never visits her grandfather?????? I like her character very much and I know she loves grandpa Jim. Is there any reason for her not visiting him, especially at this time in his life?
COME ON LIZ, STEP IT UP A KNOTCH.

Diane M, Parlin NJ

Thanks, Lynn and staff, for the continued goodness that comes from this strip - it is so real.

Mike H, Durham NC

Well, I guess we can all see what's coming next...there will be a wedding before the summer's over. In one breathless panel, Liz goes from saying she doesn't want to rush, to deciding a summer wedding wouldn't be so bad. I guess this all works into the plan to tie up loose ends over the next few months, but this is really making Liz come off looking a bit flaky.

Julia G, Ohio

It seems poor Elizabeth can't do anything right by your readers. As a person who also has troublemaking decisions, it seems normal for her to second guess when to hold the wedding. Elizabeth has settled into that comfortable, "comforting" love with Anthony - a good place to be in my mind.

Dee, Guelph ON

I've been a fan since my early childrhood (still feeling sad over Farley!) but I've been extremely frustrated by Liz over the last year and a half or so. I grew up with her, went through some experiences that paralleled hers, feel like she's a friend. If she WERE my actual friend, I would have had a long frank sit-down with her some time ago.

1) she has no excuse not to be doing micro-visits with Grandpa. Yes, she's busy ... but a five-minute visit would make such a difference to him, and would be about all he could reasonably handle, too. She's being portrayed as selfish.

2) She brought that stuff with Paul on herself: the man sacrificed his position to transfer to be near her, and she changed her mind and bailed on him. Wow!

3) She seems very unsure about her relationship with Anthony. I get the feeling she likes Francie more than she likes Francie's dad.

I'm very saddened by Elizabeth's appearance of getting married because it's what's expected of her, including as a way to redeem her behavior (having a male friend) in the eyes of Anthony. It's frustrating that she couldn't get rid of her manfan without using an engagement ring as a weapon... as a woman, I can tell you it would have been nice to hear Liz's NO being accepted as NO! She's been vicitimized often enough.

I doubt that the passive nature of Elizabeth's marriage was Lynn Johnston's intention, but she should be made aware that that's the appearance to many of us. A strip (or five) amping up the relationship seems appropriate.

Nancy, South Florida

Hi Lynn and Staff! I know that you are all busy, but I just wanted to drop you a line to say how much I love your strip!! I can't tell you how much I look forward to reading it each day. I wanted to commend Lynn on the senistive way she has handled Jim's illness and how Iris has been caring for him. The past couple of strips have really made me cry when April has been telling her sister to hurry and make plans for her wedding because she doesn't think that their grandad has much time left. I appreciate the fact that you tackle every day situations and not fantasy. It really helps to know that a regular reader like me can relate to the situations in the strip. Thank you for giving me something to look forward to reading each day. May God Bless You All!!!! Best Wishes,

Marlene S, Philadelphia, PA

Reading today's strip, I hope people lay off on all the Elizabeth picking.
I liked the talk liz and her mom had. Sometimes, you get so caught up and overcome with everyone's ideas on how you should handle your life. It helps to have someone say, that it's ok, to do it YOUR way. It's not about bring weak or wishy washy, it's about the reminder that our family will still love us, even if we make different choices than what they would've done.

Corrine, Tucson AZ

As a "nit picker," let me explain to you where I'm coming from. Like a lot of people here, I grew up with this strip. Although in its early days, I would say it was a strip about family and life. But over the years, the strip has become specifically about the Pattersons the same way a novel is about its characters. When details don't line up, or character motivations make no sense, or children seem to age overnight, it bugs me--it makes me feel like I missed something, and makes me wonder what the real story is.

I also think that I wouldn't be so bothered by the inconsistencies if it weren't for the "Research and Development" section on fborfw.com. Obviously, there are some things that are very important to Lynn, important enough to put time and effort into and making sure the details are right. Which makes me wonder if other things, like Liz's oft-changing attitude toward Anthony over the years, Marian's wedding dress, and Warren's personality, for example. If Lynn is willing to research how a fire might damage an apartment, then why can't she research how a gifted three year old would really talk and behave?

Kate C, USA

I agree with John on the subject of Therese. Why is she portrayed as such an evil woman, while Anthony is portrayed as a poor victim? Are they not both in the fault for the disintegration of their marriage? It's been stated that Therese did not want a child. That would have to mean that she was pressured into it. Could we please see her side of the story? She's a human, too. A human who was probably hurt.

I do hope that Elizabeth doesn't push her marriage date to bring her poor grandfather out of the comfort of his home. He doesn't have many days left. Let him be. Let him die in peace.

Besides, if Elizabeth needs time, is she really that in love with him? Her facial expressions and manner of stepping around the subject both show that she has some doubts. What happened to the free, independent Elizabeth? She's so dull now. She seemed happier with her job up North than she is right now, engaged to Anthony.

It just seems so mechanical at this point. I hope this is not the way that the story is going.

Kate, Long Island

Ok.....usually when someone in my family gives someone a ride from my mother's house, they always stop in and say Hi......even for just a minute or 2. Why couldn't Liz? and I'd say from the look on her face when April mentioned her wedding.......y'know what?
Liz may SAY she wants to get married, but on the inside, she really doesn't.
My Opinion.

Joy, Somerset NJ

Just because April has a driver's license, does not mean that she has permission to use the Patterson Family Automobile whenever she wants. A good subplot could have April having the typical; "why can't I take the car tonight?" discussion with John & Elly?

Wesley M, Minneapolis MN

I check out Coffee Talk every once in a while. I find myself torn over the Liz, Warren & Anthony thing. I never thought I'd send in any comments, but today's strip brought an immediate and extremely strong reaction from me! DON'T let Liz make her decision based on whether or not Gramdpa Jim will be around to be at her wedding. I know from experience that a decision like that can mess up the rest of your life. I hope you continue to write for a very long time Lynn. Even if I don't get a chance to check my email every day, I make a point of reading the daily strip. Thanks.

Kathy L, Angus ON

Liz doesn't want to rush? She's taking it one day at a time? The only way she could display any less interest and desire to be married is if she were dead. Setting a date is not rushing, and I know if I were going to marry a man I loved I'd definitely want to set a date and start planning the wedding. Liz isn't acting like a woman in love so much as a woman who's going through the motions and doing what she's been told you're supposed to do as a woman. How absolutely pathetic.

Cheryl, Rochester NY

Lynn,
Absolutely love For Better or for Worse. I connect with all your story lines. I am a Baby Boomer and I take care of my 92 Year old mother in our house. I have heart problems and now have been told I have a rare cancer. That's the good news. Kidding. This cancer is very treatable. Thank GOd. My in-laws are also in their late 80's and still doing fairly well. All of us coping, just like everyone in your comic. Please keep drawing and writing this strip as it makes my day to read that with family and friends we can get through anything.
Thank you,

Karen C, Queens NY

Folks, imagine how Iris is feeling these days, knowing her time with Jim will soon end? Let's hope that in time, she will find the peace within her heart to tell Jim it's OK to let go; that's what he's waiting for, surely.

Lucia, Kalispell MT

Dear Mrs. Johnson,
I am thirteen years old and have read your strips since I was eight. My family and I have always enjoyed them and found them to be very comforting and uplifting over the years.
All of my grandparents are now deceased: my maternal grandmother died long before I was born, my maternal grandfather died when I was six, my paternal grandmother died when I was two, and my paternal grandfather died when I was seven. My father's parents, as well as the rest of his family, live in Ireland, so we saw them as often as we could, which was very little. As cruel as this might sound, I do not miss my grandparents themselves, but the idea of an older guardian angel to love and care for you, to spend time with you and to relate to you. Therefore, whenever I was feeling a little depressed when I saw my friends with their grandparents, I would pretend that Grandpa Jim was MY grandfather, and Iris MY grandmother. In today's comic strip, April is worried that Grandpa Jim might not live much longer. Please, Mrs. Johnson, I know that you are an artist and that artists have to make deadlines, and that you already have a story plan in your head, but if it is possible for you to make any changes, please don't let Grandpa Jim or Iris die! When you draw Grandpa Jim talking to April, Michael, or Elizabeth, I feel as though he is talking to ME! I know that this is silly, and I have never told anyone about it before. My younger brothers don't even remember their grandparents, and my parents don't like talking about them, so your characters have become my refuge. Please, Mrs. Johnson, once again, I ask you: Don't allow Jim or Iris to die!

Emma O, Western Springs IL

Please don't let Liz pick a wedding date solely based on if Grandpa Jim is around. She should pick a date because it feels right to her and Anthony. I've written before that I don't agree that Anthony is right for her...there just doesn't seem to be more than a friend connection there. I really wished that either Liz and Anthony show some real spark or she just acknowledge that this isn't really THE ONE for her. And for those who say you don't need the constant romance and spark, let me just say BALONEY.

I'm about to marry a man who I met my senior year of high school. He took me to my senior prom and was there for graduation. We dated on and off for 5 years, with a long 3 year stretch in there where we lived together and were engaged. But we were so young and even though there was great love there, we didn't know how to make it work and we broke up when I was 23. We lost touch for several years, and then found each other again on email (after I'd run into his Mom). By that point I was married. I stayed married for almost 7 years and had a child, but the marriage didn't work because me and my ex had no fire, and no greater connection (besides our wonderful child who we both love and adore) to keep us together. My interests were supposed to be his interests...there was no real equality there. Through it all, James, my now fiance, remained a true friend. And yes, my now ex knew we were friends (we were friends with his ex-girlfriend, too-don't know how to explain that,!
but really we were all just friends...we were adult enough to be friends). James, like all my other friends, when I asked for advice when I realized my marriage was over, only told me to do what I felt was right for me.

So I did and I left a marriage to someone who I was just good friends with really...but who didn't truly appreciate who I was and what made me unique. Who wanted me to be completely into all of his interests, but showed only passing ok-I'll-humor-you interest in what interested me. Who couldn't tell me what it was he loved about me. Who would tell me in one breath that I should go back to school and in the next breath tell me how I didn't have time to do any of that. And who, when he was having a bad day couldn't even say 'hey but I'm so glad I have you!'

What I found when when James and I decided to get back together? Well, we figured out quick that the attraction was still there! And so was the love! In fact it was all GREATLY enhanced by the fact that we also now had this great friendship in place! We have more shared interests and we appreciate each other's separate interests (i.e. he's more of introvert and yet he'll go to and participate with me at the many business networking events I attend). We've traveled to places that one of us has been to that the other hasn't and then relished during the trip seeing that place through their eyes (make sense?).

He'll tell you that he loves that I'm a girly girl who takes an hour to get ready. And that I pack for 2 days travel like I'll be gone for 7...and many other things he loves about me. And when he has a bad day, he can still tell me "I'm so glad I have you-YOU MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME!" He believes I can do anything and always tells me he's proud of me and everything I do (and I do the same for him). And you know what, after having known each other 19 years, having been together and split up and lost touch and got back in touch and been friends and now back together and about to marry (Aug. 15th in Kauai-Yeah!!!!)...WE TOTALLY STILL HAVE SPARK AND ROMANCE AND FRIENDSHIP AND COMFORT AND JOY IN OUR RELATIONSHIP!!! And the best part? He also LOVES my son and my Mom and my brother (now brother has brother-in-law who won't ignore him)! My heart, my family and my life feel complete and happy now! THAT'S WHAT LIZ SHOULD HAVE!!!!

If Liz is at all hesitant to set a date for that wedding, I would really wonder if she's truly wanting, in her heart, to marry Anthony. I know James and I couldn't wait to set a date for our wedding. I'd love to see Liz truly happy and not just 'settling'.

Lisa, Las Vegas NY

Liz -- what an absolute loser! She can't be bothered to get out of the car for 10 minutes to see her grandfather. Considering how frail he is, it's unlikely that he'd be monopolizing her time for hours on end; maybe she'd "get lucky" and find him asleep.
I guess putting some loose change in a parking meter just can't be fathomed.

Get married -- whenever. Beat your breast when Grandpa dies -- whenever.

It would've been a blessing to have had Jim pass away quietly and peacefully with April playing her guitar for him and Iris nearby, the two people that really only seem to care about him. But that's not drama, is it?

Feh.

Linda, Tucson AZ

I would like to comment on the increasingly negative tone these responses are taking. I too have loved these characters since I young and know where I would like their lives to go. These characters are not perfect however and sometimes mistakes are made and lessons need to be learned, and sometimes we lean a lesson from the mistakes the characters make. We also only see a snippet of the lives of the Pattersons and their friends. Calling the characters names and judging their behaviours based on these small glimpses is not fair. Lynn chooses to show certain aspects of the characters lives for development. It is very likely that Liz visits Jim more than shown and that Michael is a loving caring father even when he is shown at not his best. However there will never be enough time to monitor their lives 24/7 so we must settle for what we get. Isn't this reading supposed to be for fun anyways? Great job Lynn and keep it up!

Janis B, Ontario

I'm glad the reins are in Lynn's hands. I would have no idea where to take this!

Thanks for all the years of enjoyment, Lynn and best wishes for the future.

Andrea H, Ennismore ON

I am originally from Bonfield Ontario.

Now retired, I Winter in Florida. I am always so very proud to tell your avid readers that I meet, that you are from my neck of the woods.

Thank you for all the wonderful laughs, wise advise and friendship I have found through your cartoons.

Denise, Rockland ON

I see a lot of pro and con on Grandpa Jim's condition being a motivator for Liz to step up her wedding plans. May I share my family's story? My parents' 40th wedding anniversary was in 1996. My mother was not in good health, having had a couple of strokes. My sister suggested that we should throw a big anniversary celebration for them, because she had a strong feeling that one or both of them wouldn't be there by their 50th anniversary. So we went ahead and had a big 40th Anniversary party for them; they were so pleased and proud! Six weeks later, my father was gone - a massive heart attack at the age of 60. Less than 6 years later, my mother passed away. We are so glad we gave them that celebration! Life is short - if you love someone, don't wait to do the right thing. I think Liz needs to think more about others; she's rather wrapped up in her own life.

Lyric, Buffalo NY

If April is planning for college, how come she is not driving herself around? And why did Liz just pick her up and not go to see her grandfather, even if it was for just a moment?
Just pondering...

Molly P, Oregon

You know, using Jim to push ahead the wedding is NOT a good idea. And, as for the person who does not want to see you "kill him off"... My mother was a geriatric nurse and I actually lived in a nursing home for 6 months when I was a kid. I'd rather pass peacefully that become bedridden and really frail and uncommunicative and/or confused.

Sharon, Pennsylvania

First of all, 1980's John should be beaten and 2000's John should be forced to read those old strips and hang his head in shame.

I'd like to defend Elizabeth. April simply seems to have the gift of relating to the elderly, like Liz has the gift of relating to kids. Everyone gives what they can and what they have. This is what makes a family strong, the balancing of gifts. Mike's creativity, Liz's independence, and April's determination.

Imagine if your family life story were told by showing a 30 second clip once per day. You'd get about 3 minutes a month. So we don't really know how long its been since Liz visited Grandpa, or kissed Anthony, or had a manicure.

Suzanne, Pennsylvania

Ugh, Elizabeth couldn't even have been bothered to visit her Grandpa and Iris? What did she do, honk the horn? Talk about disrespectful - April shouldn't have to be the messenger about their grandfather's health. When did Liz get so selfish?

Jessica S. Manchester NH

Let me add, also, that "taking it one day at a time" is what alcoholics do when they're trying to stay sober. It's what a couple in a trouble marriage does when they want to hold things together. It is strange language for someone who, on a few previous occasions, has openly advertised her engagement.

George K, Seattle