Coffee Talk
Welcome to Elly's Coffee Talk, where every day we feature some of the comments we get from Lynn's devoted readers, and occasionally we'll share a message from Lynn herself. If you have a comment or a story that relates to FBorFW, please share it by clicking on "Spill Your Beans Here"!


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Monday April 21, 2008

I have the strangest sense of Deja vu about Sunday's strip. Did this one run before earlier in the year? I can't find it on the archive, but I could swear I've seen it....

Allison E, Cleveland Ohio


[You're right, Allison - this strip went online briefly in error earlier this month. Sorry for the confusion!]



I feel the need to defend Anthony. Many have called him boring, weak, bland, simple, a follower. They blame him for his choices, his past marriage, his love for Elizabeth, and the way he parents his daughter. I feel he is a strong man who has, yes, made some mistakes, but has taken steps to correct them. His marriage to Therese was a mistake, yes. But we are only human, why must he, as a character, be perfect, while the rest of us real humans make mistakes every day? He has had the strength to go through a difficult marriage, survive divorce, be a single Dad, and now he is willing to give marriage another chance, with someone who has the same family and life values that he does. Why begrudge him the chance to be happy? After all, doesn't Elizabeth deserve a man who loves her for who she is, who will stand by her through thick and thin, till death do they part? I say 'Hurrah!' Love will prevail!

Genoa, MA


Throughout the years I have loved your 'strip'. My age , children/grandchildren ages fall into the category. I had brain (tumor) surgery 2 years ago, and my memory loss was efected, (I can SO relate to grandpa JIM) but your strip has kept me going! I LOVE IT!! THank you.

Linda K, st louis, mo


It seems sort of obvious that even if John does find out what really happened between Elly and April, he isn't going to apologize to her. I've met a lot of guys like him who won't say "I'm sorry" because they don't think it's going to do any good. He'll feel bad about being a jerk but can't for the life of him see how saying words anyone cansay and not mean will magicaly erase his jerkishness. To a man who's more interested in deeds than words, not repeating a mistake the best he can do.

Anonymous, Southern NB


While April acted immaturely last week, I think Elly was ultimately the one out of line.
We've seen John and Elly ear dinner without April before, so it's not as if dinner is an important family ritual she's snubbing.

What bugs me is that Liz did something very similar--in my opinion, even ruder and more immature--about a year ago, but Elly didn't say a word about it then.

Why does is it not okay for April to act like a teenager, but Liz does, and no one in the strip has a problem with it?

Kristen S, Seattle WA


Yes, poor Elly. I'm not a Mum but I still see my Mum go through the same thing and her youngest is 35 years old. She finds it so hard that she doesn't need to look after us anymore and jumps (just a little too eagerly) to help us however and whenever she can.

I definately relate to April's spill - I do the same to my Mum all the time - but I do have to say that I can see what Mum is going through. The frustration of begging to help and us going "I am grown up enough to make sure I eat/sleep etc".

So frustrating for both parties when our roles start changing.

Stephie, Sydney Australia


Over the past few days, April's personality has changed for the worse. She's become much more self-important, snide, smug, and superior.

I guess having dinner together really did bring her closer to Elly.

Chris P, Boston MA


Today's comic - 4/20 - is great! I'm a dog person, and I love how you portray dogs in your strip.

However, I object to the idea that a bone is a meal for a dog.

It's clearly not a dog treat - perhaps it's rawhide? I hope so, real bones are terrible for dogs! They can splinter and hurt their digestive system.

Kaitlyn, Memphis TN


I know every one is all over Elly for how she reacted to April. I feel like adding my little bit.
One of the things that no one noted that bugged me was how John handled it. I know it added a dramitic touch, but I really would have him be nice about it, while still getting her out of typing mode. As for how April reacted to Elly, while I wish she could have been nicer,she is a teenager and I am willing to cut her some slack. Maybe the best idea would have been to have Elly chill, while this would not have given the readers the sweet hug, I think there very well have been a different way to get to that hug.

Jessica, Iowa


I love the way Lynn gets into her animals heads. I save them all (strips that is)and often look them over. I loved Farley from the beginning and now Eddie. We lost our beautiful Newfoundland cross, named Boofy, in January at age 13. A big hairy hound just like Farley & Eddie. It was heart breaking. However, we still have Cleo, our Rottweiler. She is now 8.
Keep the pet strips coming.

Carmel S, Brisbane Australia


I love For Better or For Worse. Now that I'm in college I check it online every day, and like many readers, I'm glad April has shown up again, but...

Come on, guys. Stop hating on Lynn and the characters she created for portraying a realistic family! Wouldn't we all get bored if Lynn were to try and portray a "perfect" family, a flawed concept in itself?

Yes, Elly is hypocritical in patting herself on the back and then yelling she quits, annoying in her comments about her weight, and yes, John is sometimes a little spacey. Yes, Connie was insensitive to complain about never being the mother of the bride. No, Liz and Anthony do not show signs of eloping and going on adventures in exotic locations. These are all completely appropriate things, because Lynn has written and drawn a normal family, flaws and all. If she were to change the nature of these characters, we would all see and it would feel forced and unrealistic.

Thank you, Lynn, for your lovely comic strip, and for the link it gives me to my own family and friends.

Emily, Rochester NY


Like the after bedtime haircut that Deanna does to Robin. LOL Wish I'd thought of that when my boys were that age.

Dianne H, Langley BC


This is the best comic strip ever! I am Michael's age, Aug '72 and have been reading this strip every day since I was about 11 years old. So I have grown up with Michael, Elizabeth and April. Even though my parents had 5 of us, I feel very connected to Lynn and to this family. Life is too short- so it is fun to find those moments that connect us all and give us a minute to smile. Thank you!!

Susan L, Washington DC


I have been fascinated reading all these Coffee Talk comments since I discovered them. What amuses me more than anything is the beating Lynn is taking for making Elly HUMAN. We all make mistakes (parent and child alike); we all do stupid things (parent and child alike) and we all regret some of the things we've done (ditto). I love how Lynn at least has the characters do things that get us, the audience, to recognize those situations and she even allows us to comment to her on them in this 'daily roast'! Amazing!!

I love this strip and wouldn't change a thing. Thanks for years and years of enjoyment to both me and my family. We all are avid FBOFW fans!

Marilyn M, Pennsylvania



I loved your strip today! So beautiful. You completely capture the raw moments between mother and daughter. I wish there were more people in the entertainment industry who did so much good for society as you do with your comic strip. Thank you for your contributions. You are simply a good person.

Karlotta, Montreal


Dear Lynn, I have always read your strip from the very beginning. You have always entertained,helped solve problems, made me laugh and yes, made me cry. Not many men will admit that but its ok. I feel as if Im part of the Patterson family. The flashbacks have been cool but I know you still have alot more to artisticly put on paper and I have withdraws (LOL) when I dont get your new stuff. I also would like for you to cover new territory like John and Elly when they first started dating, Connie and Ellys friendship more and bring Lawerance back into the fold as Mikes and Lizs friend, they were always close. Even though we've never met Lynn, you are always welcome at my home if you ever come to Philadelphia. P.S. Please make some more cartoon specials.

Jeff L, First Ohio, Now Philadelphia


Hmmm...if Gerald had bad-mouthed higher education and ridiculed April for considering University, I could understand the last panel(4-19-2008). But he simply told her that he was thinking seriously of choosing a different path for himself, and reminded her that there is more to life than the prized trail of higher education. So why, when he asked what her plans were, did April turn a sharp pun on him and walk away with her nose in the air?

Her pun doesn't even make much sense. She is implying, it seems, that for Gerald to take a different path than Universaty is to become a mindless member of humanity, while getting a white-collar job equals being a leader in the world.

Musicians can be great leaders through their lyrics and lifestyle choices. I think April is being too narrow-minded in this case.

Well, thanks for reading my little speech! And as always I look forward to tomorrow's strip. :)

Rachel, Illinois


It's awesome that Anthony and Liz are getting together! It's natural that Ellie is having these issues with the empty nest coming up. Get over it, it's Lynn's story. I have laughed and cried through the last 10 years and I love the look back into the past - in my perfect world, Liz would have ended up with Paul...but it's not my perfect world and I do not have Lynn's storyline in my head! I am just so happy that the strip found away to keep plugging along with the Patterson's!

Mary L, Birchwood IL


Maybe I am old fashioned but I'm really amazed at how many people think it is appropriate for April, a teenager, to yell at her mother. Where is the respect?
Certaily I remember the days of essays, homework and exams. However April could have looked up and acknowledged her mother for a moment.
Kudos to John and Elly for remembering respect!

Rachelle B, Windsor ON


So...um...when's April's big bash going to be?
Or WILL there be a birthday bash for her?
I got out some ice cream and left it out on the table last night. Tell April that she can have it, and light a candle, too.

Mimi, WV


No, no, no, no, no.... I've been reading the comments on the Elly/April exchange, and people just don't get it. Neither one of them is wrong OR right. Elly's just being the nurturing mom; April just doesn't need that right now. When the kids reach that stretch-your-wings stage, it becomes hard for a parent to always know what is the right thing to say or do. Great love for our kids often makes us blow it. Elly is growing into the next stage with April just as April is. The university comment illustrated that. My two are college-age, so I'm speaking from experience. There's no need to side with one or the other - it was a little tiff, but neither one is against the other. And then poor John feels his responsibility to make April apologize to her mother when he really doesn't understand exactly what just took place. That's why I love this family - they really love each other, and are so normal. Love hurts, but most of the time it feels great.

Carla, Oklahoma



I love this strip! Its almost as if you are writing my life journey! I am so glad when you stay on the present...I need to know how this all turns out!! I would be so happy to hear that strip will go on as long as I do!!

Thanks again for something to look forward to each day that I relate to and yet I don't have to be the problem solver! Yeah for Lynn and staff.

Marci A, North Dakota


"I don't want to follow [my dreams], I want to lead?" Okay, what does this even mean? It's been well and truly established that they're going in different directions, since I guess musicians like Gerald are just too wild and unreliable to be Pattersons (as opposed to good solid fellows of unimpeachable moral character who manipulate their wives into being something they're not, then cheat on them when they're not happy about being bullied into domesticity, I guess.) So why is Lynn making April drive the wedge in further? I guess the Pattersons' clannish xenophobia is rubbing off on her; let's hope she gets off to university before getting assimilated any further into the Patterson Collective.

John A, Moose Lake MN


Ok, Lynn, we all know you love a pun. But when you "follow your dreams" that doesn't usually mean you're a "follower." It typically means you have more of the characteristics that make up a leader.

I went to college to major in vocal performance. Not much job security in that, so I wimped out my junior year and switched over to education. Now I'm a more than satisfied teacher, but I wish I had that performance degree and had had the guts to hit the road with an opera or broadway company and take a semester off to really live a little.

Poor April. She used to be pretty cool.

Emily, New York State


I have loved FBorFW since I was a little kid -- I am a little younger than Michael and a little older than Elizabeth, so I feel like I grew up with them both, and that April is in a way my little sister, too.

I just completed my MA in history, so I know what it's like to have people nagging me to do something else when I have other priorities. The worst thing is when I get interrupted and I can't remember what I was going to write. The absolute worst.

Some people have suggested that Elly was completely in the wrong, however, and that April has this halo around her head. It is very admirable of April to want to do her homework, but she could have accepted her mother's offer to bring a plate of food so she could continue working. What mother lets their kid eat in their rooms normally? This shows that Elly wanted to facillitate April's learning, but also that she wanted to make sure she ate. There are many times that I have gotten caught up in what I was doing and just plain forgotten to eat!

No family is perfect, and that's what I like about the Pattersons.

Rebecca, Burnaby BC


How many of us wish we could hear our mom say "What if I bring you a little plate of?" Elly made that offer out of love, so April could eat and also finish her work. Elly was being a mom who wanted to help her daughter, and April was being a young lady busy with schoolwork. We don't always remember our moms love us and may forget in a heated moment how much they have done for us and how many time they have gone without something they wanted to be able to give us something we wanted. With Mother's Day approaching, please take a moment to call, email or send a card to your mother if she's still alive. If she's gone, think some happy thoughts about times when she showed you her love, and make a donation in her name--or do something special for someone else on her behalf.

Tim J, Norman OK


Just as I suspected: April wants to lead. And she's seriously got the guts and talent and application for it. You go, girl! and don't let the footbinders talk you down to blandness.

The problem with a kid of unusual mettle is that she can occasionally seem bratty, when she's protecting her boundaries, not to mention the times she screws up. She is not going to be an easy kid to finish raising, but she is infinitely worthwhile. Maybe she should go west to university, near the farm.

She reminds me of my godchild, who is 2 years older, occasionally a holy terror, and has more heart, more courage, and more compassion than most people three times her age.

Susan S, New York


I lost my mother quite a few years ago, and seeing Elly's wanting April to eat brought back many memories of her caring, motherly acts that I so much took for granted - and even got irritated with - like April.

Now, I'd LOVE it if someone made me dinner and have come to cherish those memories of being cared for like only a Mom can.

Kay, Virginia


April is back & she's the best, I love her answer to Gerald & university is so important. Way to go Lynn, today's strip is fantastic.

Elizabeth, Ocean Springs MS


Two words on today's strip (4/19/2008):
Yea, April!!!!!!!

Karen, NC


For Heaven's Sake people, cut Lynn some slack!!! FBOFW is a COMIC STRIP - the last frame is SUPPOSED to be thought provoking - be it funny or otherwise. On a personal note, for the first 25 years I read the strip it was for entertainment and for comfort that there was another family that interacted very much like mine. For the past 3 years, the strip has helped me to better understand the Canadians whom I have joined in retirement on the shore of a lake deep in the mountains of Mexico.

Barbara Ann M, Lake Chapala, Mexico


I've been reading with interest the re-actions to strip where Elly 'hovers' and 'nags' April over dinner, and April's typical kid re-action, and I came to the conclusion that most people didn't get-it.
Yup, Elly was hovering and pushy, and April did snap at her but what I saw was a mother who knows her littlest one will be leaving the nest very, very soon so she's overdoing the Mom-thing (separation anxiety on a parent's part) and of course April doesn't have the maturity to figure out what's cooking with Mom besides dinner....the hug at the end of April's apology capped it for me....it was a Mom about to face her youngest leaving the nest and thus her understandable re-actions...you see I've been there & done that four times now so I know how hard it is not to fuss over and about the one who is leaving, especially the last one. It's an emotional time for a mother no matter how well they handle it.

Janine, Nashville TN


Hi Lynne, I have to agree with everyone on this, I have been saying all along this is a comic strip, and my comments do not get posted. Ok now I will side with the "others who take reading your work too far". I too have a daughter who will being going off to collage next year. At the moment homework does take over "dinner time with the family". Its just a fact of life now a days with it being harder to get into the collage of his/her choice.

If you are trying to keep your comic up to day and in real life, April would have explain to her dad what is going on and them maybe started to cry or have a panic attack over it. Then dad would see what is really going on, and perhaps go down and tell mom about it.

I also have a good idea for a mother and daughrer strip. Is April going to the school prom? I just finish gown shopping with my daughter. Let me tell you, you could do a whole week on this alone. And perhaps you should. Everyone seems to tell you that April got the raw end on the parent deal because she was a "late child". This could help with that problem you seem to have with the Elly and April problem at the moment.

Just like all my other comment, I will not get my hopes up to see it posted. Its just my two cents to you since you have it here.

Please don't get me wrong.. If you have read all my other comments to you, I love your strip and hate to see it end. Myself I feel you should pass the work on to someone like your daughter if you want to end this part of your life to end and move on to something else.

As I said in my other comments to you, I really do feel everyone takes your comic strip too far. You have done such a wonderful job at your craft that many readers think they are a real family. What a wonderful pat on the back for you and your staff! You have come a long way since the early 70s. We all can see that in your drawings and the story line in the comic strips.

Well, too long to be posted on your web site. Oh well...But if you are trying to keep it a real life as poss. you did miss the boat on the Elly and April strip for dinner.
Take care, and keep up the wonderful work you and your staff do. ( perhaps you might post me soon so I could win a coffee cup????)

A fan for life,

Sandy S, Hudson NH


Am I the only man that reads your strip? My own 16 year old daughter Allyssa is so busy with school,soccer and swimming. She doesn't have time to be a kid.
I'm so proud of her and to think at 16 she is thinking towards the future and wants to be an archeologist. She inheirited my traveling and history gene. Keep up the good work. I've been reading your strip as long as I can remember and I'm 54.

Kim, Helena MT/Sierra Vista AZ


Wow, seems like everything is coming down to the wire all at once. Elizabeth is getting married (or we hope she is), April is finishing up high school and going on to University, Jim is struggling with his health, and Elly is wondering about her role as a mother and grandmother (maybe even a step-grandmother). So many story plots to keep straight. The flash backs are interesting, but they do tend to add a bit of a hiccough to these various plots that are running simultaneously. I do so hope that Jim can see Elizabeth married and April graduate, but somehow I sense that he will be laid to rest before that time. Please Elly, before you start over again with the strips, give us some true closure on this family. Get April graduated, Elizabeth married or else tell us where her heart is really, and give us closure on Jim and Iris. While I for one will hate to see the sagas end, all good things do end. Love FBOFW. Need to read this everyday or my day is just not right.

Helen, Cherry Hill NJ


Hello, Lynn and Crew:

Here's a question regarding the strip that ran on Saturday, April 19, 2008. Why would Gerald touring with Becky's band during the summer between grades 11 and 12 preclude his going to university? He and April would not be going off to university until the fall of 2009. Maybe he simply does not plan to go, but why wouldn't he just say that? You're not retconning April and her friends to grade 12 are you? You know I can't allow that, Lynn--I'm your official continuity stickler!

Katje B, Albany NY


Being a mom is hard work, and often underappreciated work. Okay, make that almost always. I get the whole argh over dinner reaction. Today, no one came when I called. The food gets cold, and then everyone complains about that later, too. (And not just today... many days, with my husband being the worst culprit). So I ate and went and had a nice, hot bath. I let them all figure it out. I decided to quit being a mom for a while, too. Sometimes we need the mental break.

RK, Edmonton


I see how a lot of people are saying Ellie should apologize to April but the truth of the matter is she does have a privileged life. She gets to argue with her parents. I would have liked to see that happen in my family. Had I ever responded to my mother or father like that I would have gotten a good ol fashion spanking. Still to this day we don't dare raise our voices at them.

Erika, TX


Good girl, April! You go girl!! I have a daughter who is now a senior in college. Through the years, I have anxiously watched her sort out her path while her friends choose different directions. Of course I provide guidance and input as a parent, but we all know the ultimate decision lies with our children. Today's strip reminded me so much of my daughter. I was so proud of April! She has a good head on her shoulders. I would really like to see Elly and John acknowledge that and be more supportive of her. Also, I have to echo a previous reader regarding Elly's behavior of late. I have also thought she seems to be exhibiting signs of depression. It is impacting the family as well. I'm wondering if this is going to be addressed?

Diane R, Atlanta GA


Dinner has been at the same time every day at the Patterson's for 30 years. It seems to me, that includes all of April's life.

If John could get home from his busy practice, Elly from her lovely shop and the other children from THEIR homework, then April needs to learn to structure her time.

April is a brat, always has been and generally gets away with it.

Thank you, John, for backing up the mom with some strong "dad" coersion.

The homework is not being left undone...it is just time for a FAMILY meal!

Deane, Chehalis WA


I would like to say that the three Pattersons should have an extreme makeover. First, Elly needs to lose some weight, then join a gym, she does walk, have her hair cut shorter and high-lighted, wear contact lens and she would look a lot younger than her 50+ years. Secondly, Liz should do the same, have a new hairstyle, contact lens also, and not look older for her 28 years. She should not appear to be timid and not let family tell her how to live her life. Third, April should wear her hair down and loose and it should look freshly washed, not stiff and sticking out all over.
She is 17 now and will be going to University soon.
She needs to grow up and look
more pre-college and not high schoolish.

Mary R, Port Charlotte FL


I've been enjoying your strip since before April was born. I remember calling home from college to ask my Mom what Elly had because the newspaper at the library had been stolen!

Anyway, as I've been reading the last two strips with April I keep thinking that Elly is a little out of touch with April. She doesn't know that April has three essays to do? That's a pretty big assignment. I remember a strip from when April was little and it had April playing house saying things like "don't use so much shampoo," "pick up your toys," and "clean up the table," basically imitating what she'd heard from her Mom.

Elly was listening to April and then she gives April a hug. When April says were you listening to me play, Elly says no, I was listening to me. It seems to me that Elly needs another "aha" moment like this one. April was doing her homework. I'd be proud if my high school students would even think about doing theirs.

Mary L, Florida