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Coffee Talk
Welcome to Elly's Coffee Talk, where every day we feature some of the comments we get from Lynn's devoted readers, and occasionally we'll share a message from Lynn herself. If you have a comment or a story that relates to FBorFW, please share it by clicking on "Spill Your Beans Here"!


« Tuesday April 15, 2008 | Main | Thursday April 17, 2008 »


Wednesday April 16, 2008

Thank you, thank you, for today's strip. That the "step" part of children dissolves is so true! They do become your own, blood or not. They become loved. They become family.

Thank you.

Sarah L, Toronto


In today's strip, "stepgrand..." is used for two different relationships. When our son married a woman with a son, I thought about these relationships. Was he my stepgrandson or grandstepson? The order, I think, hinges on which relationship comes first. Since my son has a stepson, I think he is my grandstepson. For me, the grand relationship comes before the step one. From his viewpoint, the step comes first, making me his stepgrandfather. A stepgrandchild would be the grandchild of my new spouse.

I've never seen this discussed anywhere, so I had to work it out on my own. My conclusion may not match current convention, because language is rarely logical.

In any case, my son has adopted his former stepson, so the question is now moot for me.

Bill M, Lexington KY


Re 4/16's comic: Liz and Anthony's child would be Elly's *step*-granddaughter? I'm confused. Liz isn't Elly's stepdaughter (is she?!?)...I must be missing something.

MB, East Lansing MI


Is anyone else a little bored with Elly and Connie's tired platitudes on their long walks? Where's the funny bone? Furthermore, while it's nice to paint a rosy portrait of everyone getting along in blended families (as per Connie's statements), I doubt the transition is ever as easy as Connie's experience would have us believe. More real life, and more "funny", please!

AC, Texas originally from New Brunswick


Finally, Connie realizes that her husband's daughters are hers. Alas, she's come to this knowledge far too late.

Those of us who've been reading the strip for a long time can remember the high school age girls being uprooted from their home up north. To move back to Elly's neighborhood. For Connie's sake.

Yes, they resented it. But Connie did not even try to meet them halfway. Eventually, they moved back in with their mother. (Was she an Evil Career Woman like Therese?)

If Connie had removed "step-" from her vocabulary all those years ago, she might have been able to play a more active role in their weddings.

Bridget, Houston


As I was reading today's strip, I wondered if Elly caught on to what Connie was saying. Each and every time she referred to Greg's daughters and their children, she used the prefix "step" in front of the words daughters and grandchildren. Good Ol'Elly might not call her friend out on not really thinking of Molly and Gayle as her daughters despite her protestations otherwise but I think she got the idea that Connie was saying one thing and doing another.

Anonymous, Southern New Brunswick


First, I've been reading your strips for over 25 years. Congratulations on a job well done. I find that over the years I have identified with each of the characters at different times in my life - and I must admit John was instrumental in my suggesting that my husband get into model railroading!

Now-I must tell you, I'm happy that Liz and Anthony have found each other after all these years. Sometimes, it is good to go home ... and a word to your readers that feel they are mismatched - sometimes it's the quiet strength that matters not the fireworks display.

I'm sorry though that I'm not a fan of the flashbacks-and they really don't seem to be "reworked." I read them once and they seem identical. There was no connection for me then and it's starting to happen again. It wasn't a "family" it was a comic strip. And, that's what's happening again. It's becoming less family and more comic strip. Besides, John is represented as this ridiculous individual and Elly- well, she seems to just be grumpy and whiney. Sorry -it may be interesting to other readers, but it's just not my cup of tea.

Kudos though on a great job throughout the years.

Felice, North Carolina


Thanks for today's strip, Lynn! My step-grandmother is as much a grandparent to me as the people I'm related to by birth, and my brothers and sisters and I couldn't love her anymore.

Dorothy F, Lexington KY



"So, forget about formality, and call yourselves family." What a wonderful and beautiful thing for Elly's friend to say. I know some people who say that someone is not family unless they are married into the family. The meaning of family is so different then years ago. What about same-sex couples that have children, are they not a family? What about unmarried couples who have kids, are they not that child's family? Or even unmarried couples with no kids, they are still accepted into each other's families. It's how you feel in your heart. I teach my child to accept someone as a friend no matter what. That is how my husband and I were raised. We are all the same. Thank you, Lynn, for saying that.

Lise C, Lakeville NB Canada



I am a child of divorce and am now a step-mother to 2 great kids. Thank you for your strip today - 16 April. In spite of the fact that divorce is now a fact of life for so many people, it is still hard for many to understand that step is not what is important, family is what is important.

Jacqueline C, Toronto


Why the need to over explain? Every time Elly and Connie are together they reiterate that Elly will be the mother of the bride. Are you expecting to draw in new readers everyday? What about us old readers? We know the characters, we don't need to be constantly reminded who is who and what their motivations are. BTW that long winded explanation Connie gives about step children smacks to me of 'she doth protest too much'.

Patty, Michigan


Bluh bluh bluh....boring!

Katy W, Virginia


Hi guys,
See, I got the idea that Liz and Warren never actually "Dated". If you know what I mean. So the comment someone made about since the 2 of them never tech. broke up is kind of preplexing to me. If 2 people were "Friends w/benifits", or only "Casually dated", then I think they have nothing to break up from.
But that's just me!
Besides, maybe this is also just how I view Liz and Warren's "relationship", but Lynn never really went into to much detail about it.
So I don't see all the fuss about it. Sure, he came to her grad. in a Helicoptor, but that was totally unanounced--even LIZ was surprised he was there.
It always seemed like to me that she wanted more out of that relationship than he did, so it really bugs me that people are seeing more to this than maybe there really is(n't!).
It's kind of funny how we all "gossip" about the characters as though they were real. That's just what people should be doing with as good a comic strip as this one! Keep doing the great work you do, Lynn! :-)
(It also DOES seem like
Elly's aged a bit drastically
and suddenly. What's up
with that?!) :-)

--From a dedicated reader
who lives in Midcoast, Maine.

Meg



I've been going through the "strip fix" when it begins in 2004. I hadn't been a regular reader until the last year or so, and much of the strip fix was new to me. Based on what I see, there is no reason for the Liz-Anthony hook-up. On her way to Anthony's wedding, Liz chose to describe herself not as "the one that got away" (from Anthony) but as "the one that never was". Is this the way people talk about someone who had a been a true love and/or sincere friend? I think not. And then you have Anthony, shortly after an exchange of marriage vows, rushing out to see Liz off at the bus station on her way back to school -- when he already knows his wife has issues with their old "friendship" (or whatever it was). You see him accidentally on purpose bumping into her at Gord's car lot and also at her place of work (on the day Howard attempted to assault her). At this time, Anthony was still married, but when Liz tells him not to forget what he came to her workplace !
for, the thought bubble above Anthony's head indicates that he has not forgotten - that he came there for Liz. A comment from Gord to Liz indicates that Anthony is "trying" to love Therese, but if that is the way you feel about your wife, ought you maybe not to have married her in the first place? I just don't see anything to indicate why these two should get together at this late date. And even more tellingly, there is a strip showing Liz's feelings about then-boyfriend Paul. She is absolutely ecstatic, and she says that if this is what being in love is like, then she loves it. Where is a similar feeling for Anthony?

And for other readers who commented on the Elly/John thoughts about Liz getting married (two down, one to go), going through Strip Fix reveals this to be their exact same sentiment when Liz graduated from the university.

Interesing stuff, that Strip Fix!

Misha, Charleston


[Liz and Anthony dated throughout high school - you can find out more about their relationship here.]



WHY didn't you post MY comment?
WHY?
WHY?
I AM AN AVID READER, AND WHAT DO I GET? NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL.

THANKS FOR NOTHING.

Sincerely, Jada N, the future popstar.

[Sorry Jada - we're currently receiving 100+ Coffee Talk emails a day and we simply can't post them all.]


I have to say great work with the strip. I became a fan back in 2004 and I have loved seeing the family evolve in just this short amount of time. Also the past strips are nice, I know they give you and your team a much needed rest and they let some of us newbies have a look at how the family came to be. Thank you so much P.S. your website is wonderful.

hstock, Idaho


I'm always intrigued with the nice surrounds where Elly, Connie and Co. take their walks with their dogs. Are they based on a place in particular? I know it's only a cartoon but I can't help take the situations seriously. Michael and Liz are the same age group as my son and daughter and situations have been so similar over the years. It makes me smile. My daughter's name is Eleanor!! Son is Daniel.

Carmel, Brisbane Australia


[Connie and Elly are lucky to live in an area of Southern Ontario, Canada, where there are ravines and well-treed green areas among the houses in their subdivision - the neighbourhoods developed in the 50s and 60s in their area would be quite beautiful. ]



Ick. Talking about Anthony and Elizabeth again, even when there are different characters! I am not a fan of this match at all, but Lynn... are you foreshadowing some trouble between this pair? The vevidence is collecting - no words of "I love you", Anthony picks out the ring instead of Elizabeth, and now one of numerous hints that no plans are in place. Maybe strong-willed Elizabeth will break away again to find the love of her life (come back Paul!)? If that is the case, I will have stronger respect for your depth of character design than ever before!

Sue S, Halifax


I've been a big fan of FBorFW since it started. (My kids always know just what to get me for Christmas...) I'm just graduating from the Anglican Seminary here in Montreal, and my last preaching assignment was to write a wedding sermon. I decided to write one for Elizabeth and Anthony's wedding, since they're the only couple I 'know' who is getting married in the near future. It was a lot of fun to write, and I wanted to thank you for the inspiration!

Karla H, Montreal


Hello! First time poster here. I've grown up with FBOFW; I started reading it as a kid and am now 35. My perception of Elly has changed so much! Growing up, she reminded me a lot of my mom -- overworked and frustrated, but basically happy and someone who enjoyed her family. The flashbacks seem so focused on the negative and it makes me wonder if that is all Elly sees as she looks back on her life. Has she been carrying a heaping load of resentment around all these years?

Mary, California



Anyway, I disagree with the people who hate the Anthony/Elizabeth line. I like it. It seems to me that Elizabeth was always looking for happiness everywhere and discovered it right under her nose. She's grown as a character from a girl who's interested in men who seem exciting and different into a mature woman who understands what she really wants from life. None of the other men in her life were capable of commitment, whereas Anthony is steady and trustworthy. I think this storyline works just fine.

As for the flashback, I would also love to see all new storylines all the time, but something like that takes a lot of time, energy, and creative thought. You have to do what's best for you and your family.

Carla, Arlington VA


Everyone keeps going on about how "sweet" Grandpa Jim's reaction was to seeing Elizabeth in his late wife's wedding dress.

I am the only one here who did not see something pleasant? To me, he looked shocked, and possibly horrified. He might have thought he was seeing ghost. He might have been upset that Liz was wearing the gown without permission from him or Elly (Marion may have given the gown to Elly before her death, or Jim might have given it to Elly after his wife's death).

Either way, if he wasn't prepared for it, it was surely a shock, and possibly not a pleasant one!

Jill S, Lawrence KS



Regarding Connie's comment about her day's "a rock on your finger/a date set in stone": I'd thought her personal experience was getting knocked up and then having the baby daddy just walk out on her. That sounds miles apart from what "her day" was like.

Linda, Tucson AZ


Hi, Lynn,

The flashbacks bring back great memories. When my kids were young (they're 27 & 25 now) I could totally relate to the frustrations and joys of being a young mom with toddlers. I think younger readers may forget or not know of the angst we went through about whether to stay home or go back to work. We had a lot of responsibiities to carry as the first of the "Women's Libbers" to have babies! Being of Ellie's era, however, I agree with the other reader who said she'd like to see Ellie spruce up a bit and develop some new goals, hopes and dreams of her own. I, too, thought she looked like Iris in one of the recent strips! Now, Iris is a lovely woman, but I assume she's got a few decades on Ellie. Ellie is a vibrant woman with lots left to do and contribute. It would be great to have a positive role model for our generation, aging gracefully and Botox-free! You go, Ellie!

Laurie M, PEI