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Coffee Talk
Welcome to Elly's Coffee Talk, where every day we feature some of the comments we get from Lynn's devoted readers, and occasionally we'll share a message from Lynn herself. If you have a comment or a story that relates to FBorFW, please share it by clicking on "Spill Your Beans Here"!


« Friday December 7, 2007 | Main | Tuesday December 11, 2007 »


Monday December 10, 2007


I've never thought of Anthony as spineless or boring. Besides a marriage with both people who are strong and wiley can be difficult. When one is calm and the other not it can be more interesting. Anthony will calm her and she will ramp him up a bit.

As far as his marriage I think its entirely possible that a person who felt that he would not get the love of his life would try and move on. I think that Elizabeth and his story line always meshing was a way to show that their love or at least his love for her had never stopped. I think its possible to believe that you can make another relationship work. As well remember we don't really know (because it is a cartoon) what his ex wife did or did not bring to the marriage other than a hate for Elizabeth. Anthony could very well be acting differently a bit now because of the hurts and diminshing self confidence he would have had going through something like this.
His daughter possibly also reminds him of his wife and when she is being demanding he may not be entirely perfect in his response but at least he is trying to work for what he wants. He is not leaving the child with a sitter while he's out with Elizabeth. What I think is so fascinating is that these things bring out of people; who are reading, their own fears, their own unresolved issues etc., etc., Rather than rant at Lynn maybe be glad she is doing such a good job and look internally at ourselves.

I thought I'd like the hybrid but I realize I really enjoy the continuation of the comic. It is another life that indicates we are are all the same yet there is no stress with it because it is not real. So it's fun to watch because we can relate.

Keep up the good work.

Sherry, Mansfield


Dear Lynn,

Most of your correspondents seem to be from Canada or the US but I thought you might like to know that your strips are published every day in the Australian papers and I'm sure you have many Aussie fans. I've just started catching up with FBoFW and am hooked (thank goodness for the strip archive)! Apart from the engaging characters, I really like the cultural aspects like Mtigwaki - it helps give those of us from outside North America a bit of an insight into Canadian culture. Maybe some of your characters can come for a visit to Oz sometime and have a summer Christmas.

Keep up the good work!

Louise M, Melbourne Australia


Oh, how I wish Anthony would just go away. He's just as self-pitying and irritating as Eustachia Vye in the Thomas Hardy novel.

He's supposed to be a good guy, right? Fights Howard for Lady Liz, then testifies in court with her.

He's not. He marries a woman he doesn't love, knowing that a) he doesn't love her, b) he still has feelings for Liz, c) his wife is jealous of Liz.

Yet he marches right ahead, marrying Therese, then coercing her into two things she doesn't want, and certainly isn't ready for: Buying a house and having a baby. When she suffers post-natal depression, he does nothing about it, never even offers to help.

When their marriage is (not surprisingly) on the rocks, does he seek counseling? Does he try to talk things out with his wife? No, he seeks out Liz, pours self-pity all over her, and asks her to wait for him. (He has no right to ask any woman to wait for him when he's married.)

So Therese, who is far more sympathetic as a character than Anthony or even Liz, faces the music and walks out of a dead-end marriage with a man who never loved her and never cared about her feelings. Anthony doesn't say, "Hurray! I'm free! And I have the house and kid, which is all I wanted!" Nope, he STILL plays the victim.

He's an emotional blackmailer and a very, very manipulative person. His marriage shows it; his relationship with his daughter reinforces it.

And Liz - I swear, she must have received brain damage when Howard attacked her. She believes she just can't get along without a man in her life, and she settles for Anthony simply because she once dated him and doesn't have to learn anything more about his character. (Liz, dear, you're in for a RUDE awakening on that front! You're turning a blind eye to his unsavory character, but you can't do it forever!)

I suspect that people who want Anthony and Liz to be together, are those who secretly or not-so-secretly wish they had married their high-school sweethearts. We already have one plot line, with Mike and Deanna, about a Patterson marrying an old flame. But two? That just doesn't happen, unless the community is very small.

So Liz, because she only had one boyfriend in high school, is to be sentenced to a relationship with Anthony the Creep, the guy nobody would want to work with because he'd corner you in the break room and give you his latest sob story. It's only a matter of time before he's whining and feeling sorry for himself again because Liz just isn't giving him what he wants, overlooking the fact that - since he's so bad at communication - he hasn't even TOLD her what he wants. Then Liz will understand why Therese left. Really, Liz should make friends with Therese so that she learns the truth about their marriage, rather than regurgitating Anthony's highly biased version of the facts.

Erin N


Friday November 16, 2007

I just wanted to thank you, Lynn, for this strip. I have a young baby and older children, and I know the older children get a little fed up with the attention given to the baby! I printed the comic off and stuck it on the 'fridge, and it thankfully prompted some open conversations with my children, and we cleared the air a lot.

Thanks so much for your insight, and humour - I so wish we could get FBorFW in the UK, but at least I get to read it online!

BTW, apologies that it has taken me three weeks to comment, older children and babe are time consuming !

Donna Hutchinson, UK


OH MY GOODNESS, please end this before it goes any further! The ridiculous notion that a child Francie's age would say such mature things just makes me crazy and makes me want to 'retire' my habit of reading this. I hope the fact that you have turned this storyline into such a difficult situation will lead to the demise of a relationship that so many of your fans detest. Elizabeth, you deserve better!

Kelly, Newnan GA


Hi,
As a returning Sailor, I just wanted you to know that I was able to keep up with what was happening with the Patterson family through the Stars and Stripes paper.
Thank You,
CS3 Guidroz

Loretta, South Carolina


When I came to the States almost 20 years ago, I started following FBoFW. Just recently I was able to aquire the whole collection from the start. WOW. My 8 year-old daughter is reading them as fast as I am. I was a little suprise then when I finally understand Liz's history. It seemed hard to take when a girl from a very nice and "normal" family keeps making the wrong choice in men (especially Eric). But such is life, no guarantee. I think Liz should move on, look beyond Anthony; who for her might be a "comfortable" choice, she might even think she's in love with this guy. His daughter is only going to get bigger and tougher to deal with. If they break up again, it doesn't mean that they let a little kid controls the adults. In the long run it's going to be better for Liz, Anthony is not worth all the aggravations.

Sianli B, Maryland


Every morning I wake up and love to read the comics in the local newspaper. However, when I read this weeks strip of For Better or for Worse, I was EXTREMELY displeased.
The man in the article keeps a smile on his face dealing with rude people and everyday annoyances, but when he opens the door to his home, and his son simply says, "Hi, Daddy," the man yells! It says "GROWL".
This is totally inappropriate. This is not a situation which can be dulled for a laugh in the paper. It is a serious problem which could lead to unvented anger, child abuse and much more.
Please consider next time thinking about the effects the strip could have. I am a teenager, and was appalled at it. The strip reaches more than one audience, not just adults who may think it was funny.

Amber, Toledo Ohio



FBorFW and Blondie are the ONLY stips my wife and I both like. In fact, these two are the ONLY strips she will read. For the record, I read them all.
We're both relieved to see the direction you've taken for future work given the alterantive. It must be hard to consider giving up your creation or, even worse, putting it in the hands of another author. Many comic strip authors have made similar decisions over the past few year, and, in some cases, the quality has really suffered. Here's hoping you will continue to provide some new situations while still giving yourself some freedom. I retired at your age so am sensitive to the need to make a change.
Best of luck in your next step.

Joe V, Louisville KY


I loved the Sunday strip. While I am not associated in the dental profession, I do deal with people all day, try to do so with a smile (not always an easy task) and let it out when I get home. Fortunately, that doesn't happen too often.

As for Liz and Anthony, I can try to understand Francine. After all, her mother just picked up and left and apparently doesn't communicate with her daughter. While she does not consciously understand, maybe she is worried that since her mother left, what would stop another female figure from hitting the road. Or someone has come to take her daddy away.

Granted, Francine should not be allowed to manipulate the situation, but there must be a better way to handle it than saying we can't go see Santa Claus if Elizabeth can't come because she might cry.

Suzanne R, West Suffield CT


Hi Lynn,
I've just discovered this chat place! I have been an avid fan of FBFW for over 30 years. I am so happy that I can directly communicate with you.
Amazing, we are all growing older together. I have related to so many, if not all, of your life situations and appreciate your acute sense of humor and grasp of all phases of human development. I am grateful that you show us humor and grace in both good and difficult situations.
For what it is worth, I did not like Anthony then and I am holding my breath that he will be a passing phase. I have learned that life doesn't always give us what we want and I trust you will do what is best for Elizabeth (who is lovely and deserves more than what I think Anthony can offer her). Yet maybe Liz is our token victim here? All of your characters are believable and teach us something about ourselves and our own loved ones. So, thank you and keep up the great work!

Nancy S, Medway Maine


It was wrong to use the seeing Santa scenario, but it was not wrong for him to explain to his daughter that it is wrong to hurt another person's feelings. Also, I think you are portraying his daughters jealousy quite factually. This is the very situation I went through many years ago with my one stepson. He was very jealous of me to the point that no matter where my husband and I sat, he had to come up and push his way between us to split us apart on a couch. Everytime we tried to have a conversation....it was "Dad!! Dad!!! Dad!!!" And you know what, Liz handled it perfectly. You need to give the child the time to adjust, but the one thing that Anthony needed to express is that it is up to him to be the adult and pick his child up and place her on his lap. Don't take her out of the situation, but include her. Show her that it was not nice to try to interrupt a situation like that, but that he still wants her included. We did this with my stepson, and things are fantastic. They call me mom and it is great. You need to show the child that they are still important, but that behaving that way is not the right way to get the attention they want. And Anthony has a right to have a life and build it with both women. I think it is quite funny, that even in comic circles, we expect all the characters to be perfect and not make mistakes. You are doing a great job with this storyline!

Denise, Pittsburgh PA


Hey Anthony & Liz are getting off easy so far w/Francine. When my mom brought a new man into the picture after her divorce I used to kick him in the shins every time he walked past me. I didn't know what he was thinking coming into our lives so I was giving him fair warning it wasn't going to be easy, but he ended up being the biggest blessing in our lives and the best Dad. It's hard for a parent to know what real emotions a child can have when a new person is coming in a household can do. It took me years to like my stepdad. So let time tell what evolves w/Liz,Anthony & Francine.

Sherry, Gainesville Fla


Lynn, I have been a devoted fan for many years. I have each every one of your publications and always find myself waiting for the next to be published. I find myself going back and rereading them over and over again. These books have mirrored my life so many countless times, it is as though I am reading about members of my own family. Recently I took out the 'Remembering Farley' book. We have a puppy named 'Hairy Potter', he is a lab/golden retriever mix. When I first got him, I read all of the puppy manuals I could find. Nothing seemed to help until I remembered that I had your book about Farley. I found myself laughing at the things that Hairy had done, just like Farley. From his begging at the table; keeping my feet warm under the table; getting baby talk from his 'mummy'; to going for rides in the car. I thought our dog was one of a kind, spoiled in every way possible, with me hating it and loving every minute at the same time. Your book about Farley taught me that our dog is just one of the family, and that there was absolutely nothing wrong with treating him like one of the kids. We got him for our granddaughter who had Down Syndrome, but he is really my dog at heart. Thank you for Farley's story.

I would also like to thank you for the story regarding April's friend with Down Syndrome. My greatest wish for my granddaughter is that she will find a true and loyal friend like April when she enters middle school.

Thank you for all of your wonderful comic strips. Your's is the only strip that I follow each day. The lives of your characters and my family overlay in so many ways I could just go on and on. Thank you again for making my day for so many years, I hope to read your strip for many more to come.

Pat C, Washington DC


With all the commercialism of Christmas and the "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!" attitude that kids have always had, the so-called emotional blackmail is about the only thing parents have to keep some kind of control over their kids. You can't reason with a 2-year-old, so you say what you do to make them understand that they shouldn't hurt anyone's feelings. The so-called emotional blackmail was probably a parenting technique Anthony learned about first-hand from his own parents. Kids grow up thinking they will never say to their kids what their parents said to them. But they do. Then they realize the reason they do is because it works.
Right on, Lynn!

Grace C, Wichita KS